The search

Soulmates, Soul ties, Twin flame, all the names that I can call this special connection. 
Years ago I was broken by it and till now that scar just got deeper. 
Like I once said, keeping distance grows regret but stepping closer grows grief.
I fear that I cannot find a connection this deep with no one else and that I will still be scarred from it throughout the search. 
The way our humor fits just right, the way we had so much in common, the way I could get comfortable in my thoughts around you, the way you compromise with my childish behaviors, the way you patiently taught me, the way we just clicked.
This all sounds so much like the love you read in romance books but this love didn't act that way for me. 
How I wish deep down it was more than this so I no longer need to go on this search.
The doubts I have from how similar this love acted. 
Either way, it's still true love that I find hard to let go of.
The glances and small talks I hear of will never understand this platonic feeling. 
I find joy and happiness just being in their presence.
But just like that it's now all gone.
I grieve, thinking I can heal better than before. But this fight didn't get any easier. 
" Friendship breakups are more painful than relationship breakups," they said.

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