CACTI

'Embrace the moment', I try to remind myself, but it'll occasionally slip my mind when I begin to think about every single bad thing that could happen instead, looking 10 steps ahead of me. Often thinking for other people and making assumptions that aren't even true. I allow myself to act a certain way just because I've been hurt in the past, and that's my excuse? When we look back onto mistakes, we often think about what we've done wrong and what could've been done better. Yet changing from it can be easier said that done. Without noticing, sometimes we'd still fall into the bad habits because to grow out of it, discomfort is essential. Truth be told, no one could acknowledge their own mistakes without someone else pointing it out. So how could I assume the worst when I make mistakes too?

In some kind of way I might be a perfectionist. The tendency of wanting to do things perfectly or I wouldn't even dare to put myself out there. I have a standard of how things should go and even if it means being too critical of myself, I'd attempt to push myself because no one else is going to do that for you. Possibly for certain aspects in life, that was out of your control where you weren't able to achieve the things you wanted to. However, maturing is realising that we now have the responsibility to change that.  Yet it's difficult to not put the past against yourself and have a difficult time forgiving something you did in the past. So I end up holding back. With that desire of having just the 'perfect moment', I hold back from creating, from speaking, from stepping out of that comfort zone. Instead, by hyper fixating on everything we've done wrong and not allowing ourselves to acknowledge the things we've done right.  When have I allowed myself to...