Fig

"The Bell Jar"

'I saw my life branching out before me like a green fig-tree. From the tree of every branch, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home of children, and another fig was a famous poet, and another another fig was a brilliant professor. And beyond and above these figs was many more figs I can't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig-tree, starving myself to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind on which of the fig I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one means losing all the rest. And as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.'


The paradox of choices. The unknown of what each fig beholds in the future, afraid of making the wrong choice. 'What if that one is better?' Being privileged enough to even have choices, to be able to doubt over things some may not even get the choice to have. But even then, I crave to do all. I crave to experience every feelings and moments, that even the bad ones, I wish to be blessed enough to go through it. (maybe not) Both ends of the road can be the total opposite of each other, but staying stuck in the center means that you won't truly find out how it's like on either end. 

I fear that I won't be able to live to my potential in this lifetime, as there is only one chance we'll get. 

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